Family Related Matters Archives

When Others Just Don’t Understand: Coping with Public Misunderstandings of Dementia

By Maria Welch 30th November, 2023 Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

In a world that constantly evolves, one thing remains constant – the power of understanding and empathy. Yet, when it comes to dementia, many find themselves in a whirlwind of public misunderstandings and misconceptions. It’s disheartening to witness our loved ones battling this unyielding condition while society struggles to grasp its true nature. Let’s see how together we can bridge the gap between public perception and the reality faced by those affected by dementia every day.

Dementia is a term used to describe a group of symptoms that affect memory, thinking, and social abilities severely enough to interfere with daily activities. It is a progressive disease that primarily affects older adults, but can also occur in younger individuals.

Unfortunately, despite its prevalence and impact on individuals and families, dementia remains widely misunderstood by the general public. This lack of understanding can lead to significant challenges for those living with dementia and their loved ones.

Myths vs. Facts: Exposing Common Misconceptions about Dementia

One of the biggest misunderstandings about dementia is that it is a normal part of aging. In reality, while age is a risk factor for developing certain types of dementia (such as Alzheimer’s disease), it is not an inevitable part of getting older. Dementia is caused by various diseases or conditions that damage brain cells over time.

Another misconception is that all people with dementia are forgetful or confused all the time. While memory loss and confusion are common symptoms in many types of dementia, not everyone experiences these symptoms in the same way or at the same severity level. Some individuals may have more trouble with language or motor skills instead.

The role of genetics in developing dementia also tends to be misunderstood. While family history can increase one’s risk for certain types of dementia (such as early-onset Alzheimer’s disease), it is not a guarantee that someone will develop the condition. Lifestyle factors, such as diet and exercise, also play a significant role in dementia risk.

One of the most harmful misunderstandings about dementia is that people with the condition are no longer capable of living fulfilling lives or contributing to society. While it is true that dementia can impact an individual’s abilities, it does not mean they are no longer valuable members of their communities. People with dementia can still participate in activities they enjoy and make meaningful connections with others.

The Importance of Accurate Understanding

Misunderstandings about dementia can lead to stigma, discrimination, and barriers to care for those living with the condition. It can also prevent individuals from seeking help and support when needed. By educating ourselves and others about the realities of dementia, we can promote more compassionate and inclusive attitudes towards those affected by this disease.

The impact of public interference on those with dementia and their caregivers

Living with dementia can be an overwhelming and challenging experience, not only for those diagnosed with the disease but also for their caregivers. The journey of managing symptoms, adapting to new changes, and coping with the emotional toll can be much more difficult when faced with public interference and misunderstanding.

The impact of public interference on those with dementia:

Public interference refers to the unwanted and often negative interactions that individuals living with dementia may face in public settings due to misunderstandings about their condition. This could include patronising behaviour, discrimination, or even ridicule from strangers who are unaware of the individual’s diagnosis.

For people living with dementia, these interactions can be stressful and disorienting. They may feel confused or embarrassed by how others are treating them. It can also lead to feelings of isolation and a loss of self-esteem as they struggle to maintain their independence while dealing with a misunderstood condition.

Impact on caregivers:

Caregivers of individuals living with dementia also bear the brunt of public interference. They often have to deal with stares, comments, or judgmental reactions from others when out in public with their loved ones who have dementia. This added stress can make it even more challenging for caregivers to provide care and support for their loved one.

Furthermore, public interference can also result in feelings of guilt or shame for caregivers as they may feel responsible for protecting their loved one from such negative experiences. It can also add to caregiver burnout as they constantly navigate through society’s lack of understanding about dementia.

Strategies for coping with public misunderstandings, including communication techniques and setting boundaries

Dealing with public misunderstandings of dementia can be difficult and frustrating. It can be even more challenging when these misunderstandings come from people we interact with on a regular basis, such as friends, family members, or colleagues. Here are some effective strategies for coping with public misunderstandings of dementia.

Educate yourself and others: One of the most important ways to cope with public misunderstandings of dementia is by educating yourself about the condition and sharing that knowledge with others. This not only helps to dispel common misconceptions but also raises awareness about the realities of living with dementia. You can do this by reading reliable sources, attending support groups or workshops, and staying updated on current research.

Use communication techniques: Effective communication is key in dealing with public misunderstandings of dementia. When discussing the condition with others, it’s important to use clear language that is free from jargon and medical terms. Keep your explanations simple and focus on how the person affected by dementia is feeling rather than just listing symptoms. Also, try to use positive language instead of negative labels like “sufferer” or “victim”. By using positive language and being patient in your communication, you can help others understand better without getting caught up in stigmatising stereotypes.

Share personal experiences: Another way to help people understand what it’s like living with dementia is by sharing personal experiences or stories from those who are actually going through it. Personal stories have a powerful impact on breaking down misunderstandings and building empathy. You can share your own experiences or those of a loved one who has dementia, through writing or speaking at events.

Set boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries when dealing with public misunderstandings of dementia. This means being assertive about what you will and won’t tolerate in terms of language, behaviour, and attitudes towards those affected by dementia. If someone says something inappropriate or hurtful, calmly explain why their words are hurtful and ask them to use more respectful language in the future.

Seek support: Dealing with public misunderstandings of dementia can be emotionally taxing, so it’s important to have a strong support system in place. Reach out to friends and family members who understand the challenges you face and can offer emotional support. You can also join support groups for people living with dementia and their caregivers where you can connect with others who share similar experiences.

Practice self-care: Caring for someone with dementia can be physically and emotionally draining, so it’s crucial to take care of yourself as well. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax, such as reading, listening to music, or going for a walk. It’s also important to maintain a healthy lifestyle by

How to educate others about dementia in a positive and effective way

Unfortunately, due to lack of education and awareness, many people have a negative perception of dementia which can lead to stigma, discrimination, and isolation for those affected by it. As caregivers or loved ones of someone with dementia, it is crucial to educate others about this condition in a positive and effective way to break down these barriers.

Here are some tips on how you can educate others about dementia in a positive and effective way:

Understand the basics: Before trying to educate others about dementia, it’s essential that you first have a good understanding of what it is. Dementia is not a specific disease but rather an umbrella term used to describe symptoms related to a decline in memory or cognitive abilities that interfere with daily life. It’s important to know the difference between dementia and other conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease, as well as its common symptoms and progression.

Use person-centred language: The language we use when talking about someone with dementia can have a significant impact on how they are perceived by others. Avoid using derogatory terms like “demented” or “senile” which can be hurtful and stigmatising. Instead, opt for person-centred language such as “person living with dementia” or “person experiencing memory loss.”

Share personal experiences: One of the most powerful ways to educate others about dementia is by sharing personal experiences. Whether you are a caregiver or someone living with dementia, your stories can help others understand the challenges and triumphs of this condition. Be open and honest about your experiences, but also highlight the positive aspects and how you have adapted to a new way of living.

Provide factual information: Many people have misconceptions about dementia, which can lead to fear and misunderstanding. Use factual information from reputable sources such as the Alzheimer’s Association to dispel any myths or misconceptions. This can include statistics, risk factors, and ways to support those with dementia.

Emphasise abilities, not disabilities: People with dementia are still capable individuals who deserve respect and dignity. When educating others about dementia, focus on their abilities rather than their disabilities. Highlight how they can still participate in activities they enjoy and contribute to society in meaningful ways.

Offer resources for support: Educating others about dementia is not just about raising awareness; it’s also about providing support for those affected by it. Share resources such as support groups, respite care services, or educational materials that can help caregivers and individuals with dementia cope with their daily challenges.

Encourage empathy and understanding: It’s important to remember that everyone’s experience with dementia is unique, so it’s essential to promote empathy and understanding. Encourage others to put themselves in the shoes of someone with dementia and consider how they would want to be treated if they were in that situation.

In conclusion, educating others about dementia requires patience, compassion, and a willingness to challenge preconceived notions. By using person-centred language, sharing personal experiences, and providing factual information, you can help break down the stigma surrounding this condition and promote a more positive understanding of dementia.

What do you do when a family member refuses care?

By admin 28th September, 2023 Care, Family Related Matters, Help Comments Off

While striving to provide the best possible support for your loved one, you are faced with many challenges. One of those difficult topics is: what do you do when they refuse care? It’s an issue that many families grapple with, so let’s try and unravel the complexities of the situation and offer some guidance on navigating these uncharted waters.

The different types of dementia

Dementia is a broad term that encompasses various conditions, each with its own distinct characteristics. While Alzheimer’s disease is perhaps the most well-known form of dementia, there are others worth exploring.

One such type is vascular dementia, which occurs as a result of impaired blood flow to the brain. This can be caused by conditions like stroke or small vessel disease. Vascular dementia often presents with difficulties in thinking, problem-solving, and memory.

Another type is Lewy body dementia (LBD), characterized by the presence of abnormal protein deposits called Lewy bodies in the brain. LBD can lead to fluctuations in attention and alertness, visual hallucinations, and movement problems akin to Parkinson’s disease.

Frontotemporal dementia (FTD) primarily affects the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain. It causes changes in behaviour, personality shifts, language impairments, and challenges with executive functions like decision-making.

These are just a few examples among many other forms of dementia such as mixed dementia (a combination of different types) or less common variants like Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease or Huntington’s disease.

Understanding these distinctions helps caregivers tailor their approach to meet specific needs associated with each type of dementia. By recognising individual symptoms and patterns unique to each form of this complex condition, appropriate care strategies can be implemented for optimal support.

The effects of refusing care on the patient

When a dementia patient refuses care, it can have significant effects on their well-being and overall quality of life. Refusing care may lead to an increased risk of physical health issues. For example, if the patient refuses assistance with activities of daily living such as bathing or dressing, they may become more prone to infections or injuries. Additionally, refusing medication or medical treatments can exacerbate existing health conditions.

Furthermore, refusing care can also have emotional and psychological consequences for the patient. They may feel frustrated or overwhelmed by their declining abilities and independence. This could result in feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety. Moreover, when a dementia patient refuses care, it puts additional strain on their caregivers and loved ones who are trying to provide support.

In some cases, family members may experience guilt or helplessness when faced with a loved one’s refusal of necessary care. It is important for families to seek guidance from healthcare professionals who specialise in dementia caregiving strategies. By understanding how to approach these situations with compassion and patience, families can better navigate the challenges that arise when a dementia patient refuses care.

Overall, the effects of refusing care on a dementia patient cannot be underestimated.

It is crucial for caregivers and family members to address this issue promptly, seek professional advice, and find ways to ensure the safety and well-being of your loved one.

By working together with healthcare professionals, you can develop strategies

to overcome these obstacles and provide optimum support or individuals living with dementia.

The family’s role in care

The family plays a crucial role in the care of a dementia patient. When a loved one refuses care, it can be challenging and emotionally distressing for everyone involved. However, there are steps you can take to navigate this difficult situation.

Communication is key. It’s important to openly discuss your concerns with the family and with the patient. This allows everyone to understand each other’s perspectives and find common ground.

Empathy is also essential when dealing with a loved one who refuses care. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand why they may be resistant. Dementia often affects judgment and reasoning abilities, so it’s crucial to approach with patience and compassion.

It may be a good idea at this stage to seek professional help. Consultation with healthcare professionals or joining support groups can provide guidance on how to handle specific situations related to refusing care.

Additionally, involving the dementia patient in decision-making processes can empower them and give them a sense of control over their own lives. Encourage them to express their preferences whenever possible while still ensuring their safety and well-being.

Self-care is vital for family members caring for someone with dementia. It’s easy to become overwhelmed or burnt out, but taking breaks and asking for assistance from other family members or hired caregivers can prevent caregiver fatigue.

Caring for a loved one with dementia can be incredibly challenging, especially when they refuse care. It’s important to remember that their refusal is not personal and is often a result of their cognitive decline. By understanding the different types of dementia and the effects of refusing care on the patient, you can approach the situation with empathy and patience.

When faced with a refusal of care, it’s crucial to involve healthcare professionals who specialise in dementia. They can provide guidance and support in developing strategies tailored to your loved one’s unique needs. Additionally, reaching out to support groups or organisations dedicated to dementia care can offer valuable resources and reassurance.

Family members play a vital role in caregiving for individuals with dementia. It’s essential to communicate openly and honestly with other family members about your loved one’s condition and work together as a team. Consider attending educational programs or workshops on managing difficult behaviours associated with dementia; this knowledge will empower you to provide better care for your loved one.

Remember that self-care is equally important in this journey. Taking breaks, seeking respite services, or leaning on friends and extended family for support can help prevent burnout while ensuring that you are able to continue providing quality care for your loved one.

Caring for someone with dementia who refuses care requires patience, understanding, and adaptability. While it may feel overwhelming at times, by arming yourself with knowledge about different types of dementia, involving healthcare professionals early on, working together as a family unit, and prioritising self-care along the way – you can navigate this difficult road more effectively while keeping your loved one’s well-being at heart.

Remember: You are not alone in this journey! Reach out for help whenever needed because there are people ready to assist you every step of the way.

Enhancing Quality of Life: How Environmental Factors Benefit Dementia Patients

By Maria Welch 14th July, 2023 Care, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

Imagine a world where the environment we live in has the power to positively impact the lives of those affected by dementia. A world where every corner, scent, and sound is carefully curated to enhance their well-being and quality of life. In this blog post, we dive deep into the remarkable benefits that environmental factors bring to dementia patients. From soothing natural landscapes to specialised lighting and music therapy, discover how simple yet powerful changes can make all the difference for our loved ones battling this challenging condition. Join us on a journey where science meets compassion, as we explore ways to create an environment that not only supports but uplifts individuals with dementia.

Introduction to Dementia

Dementia is a broad term used to describe the symptoms that occur when the brain is damaged or deteriorates. Symptoms can vary greatly from person to person, and range from mild memory loss to severe impairment of cognitive function.

While there is no cure for dementia, there are treatments available that can help manage the symptoms and improve quality of life. One important treatment approach is to create an environment that is supportive of the individual’s needs and abilities.

This may include adaptations to the home, such as installing handrails or removing obstacles, as well as engaging in activities that stimulate the mind and body. Environmental factors can play a key role in enhancing quality of life for dementia patients.

Environmental Factors That Enhance Quality of Life for Dementia Patients

There are many ways to enhance the quality of life for dementia patients, and one important way is through providing a positive environment. There are several environmental factors that can have a positive impact on those with dementia, and these include:

Proper lighting: This can help to reduce shadows and glare, which can be confusing or frightening for someone with dementia. Proper lighting also makes it easier for caregivers to provide assistance.
Identification of exits and landmarks: Providing clear signage and other cues can help dementia patients orient themselves and feel more secure in their surroundings. We use colour coding and images around our care home to help our residents navigate their way around more easily.
Minimising noise: Excessive noise can be overwhelming and cause anxiety for someone with dementia. Creating a calm environment can help promote relaxation. We have a quiet room in our care home, and residents can always spend time in their room if they would like some quiet time. Each room has a TV and an Alexa.
Promoting social interaction: Dementia patients may withdraw from social interaction, but being around others can actually provide numerous benefits. Encouraging socialisation through activities or simply conversation can help improve mood and cognitive function.

These are just a few of the ways that environmental factors can enhance quality of life for those with dementia. By creating a positive and supportive environment, we can make a significant difference in the lives of those affected by this disease.

– Stimulating Activities & Social Interaction

One of the most important things you can do to enhance the quality of life for a person with dementia is to provide opportunities for stimulating activities and social interaction. There are many different ways to do this, depending on the person’s interests and abilities.

Some ideas for activities include:

– Arts and crafts: Painting, drawing, sculpting, collage, jewellery making, etc.

– Music: Listening to music, singing, playing an instrument

– Exercise: Walking, light weights, yoga, Tai Chi

– Games: Cards, word games, memory games, puzzles

– Nature: Gardening, bird watching, walking outdoors

It’s also important to provide opportunities for social interaction. This can be done in small groups or one-on-one. Some ideas for social interaction include: conversation, sharing stories and memories, playing games together, going for walks together. It’s important to find activities that the person enjoys and that are appropriate for their abilities. If possible involve family and friends in these activities as well.

– Calming Spaces & Comforting Companionship

It’s no secret that spending time in nature can have a calming effect on the mind and body. Being in nature has been shown to lower levels of stress hormones, increase feelings of pleasure and wellbeing, and boost immunity. These effects are even more pronounced for those living with dementia. Studies have shown that time spent in nature can help reduce agitation, anxiety, and other forms of behaviour that can be challenging for both patients and caregivers. We are lucky to have a beautiful garden at Grosvenor Lodge where residents can enjoy the outdoors and admire the flowers whenever they want. Some residents also enjoy gardening and help us to keep the garden looking beautiful.

We love taking a stroll along the seafront with residents, or getting out with Pedal People for a cycle. There’s nothing better than a fresh sea breeze to clear the cobwebs and feel rejuvenated.

In addition to the calming effect of nature, spending time with a supportive companion can also be beneficial for patients with dementia. A recent study found that patients who had weekly visits from a trained therapy dog showed improvements in social interaction, communication, and overall quality of life. We love having Pet Pals come to visit. They bring all sorts of animals and the residents really enjoy it! Other research has shown that music therapy can also be beneficial for patients with dementia, providing them with a sense of comfort and companionship during difficult times. We have regular live music in our homes, plus each resident has an Alexa loaded up with their favourite tunes and stories.

– Routine and Structure

Routine and structure are important for all of us, but they can be especially helpful for people with dementia. Having a regular routine can help to minimise confusion and anxiety, and can make everyday activities easier.

Some simple ways to add structure to your loved one’s day include:

– Set regular times for meals, activities, and medications

– Plan short walks or other gentle exercises into the day

– Make sure there is time for relaxing and enjoying favourite activities

A structured environment can also be helpful in minimising confusion and promoting a sense of calm. Cues such as clocks, calendars, and familiar photographs can help orientate a person with dementia and remind them of important events.

Creating a calming environment at home may involve:

– Reducing noise levels by turning off televisions and radios or using noise-cancelling headphones

– Adjusting lighting to reduce glare and shadows

– Adding soft furnishings and personal items to create a more homely feel

How Dementia and Environment are Connected

When it comes to dementia care, providing a stimulating and supportive environment is essential to promoting quality of life. There are many ways to do this, but one of the most important is by creating an environment that is physically and emotionally safe.

Dementia can be a very isolating illness, so it’s important that care facilities provide opportunities for social interaction. This can be done through group activities, meal times, or simply having common areas where patients can gather. Creating a sense of community can help reduce anxiety and depression, and promote a feeling of belonging. We pride ourselves in the homely feel we create at Grosvenor Lodge. Our residents are part of the family and involved in important decisions about the home, meals and entertainment.

It’s also important to provide plenty of cognitive stimulation. This can be in the form of arts and crafts, music therapy, memory games, or anything else that encourages patients to engage their minds. A stimulating environment can help slow the progression of dementia and improve quality of life.

Last but not least, it’s important to make sure the physical environment is safe and comfortable. This means ensuring there are no trip hazards, adequate lighting, and appropriate temperature control. It also means providing furniture that is comfortable and easy to use. All of these factors play a role in reducing falls, which are a leading cause of injury in older adults.

Creating an environment that meets all of these needs can be challenging, but it’s essential for promoting quality of life in dementia patients. By paying attention to these factors, we can make a real difference in the lives of those affected by Dementia.

Conclusion

It’s important to recognise that every person living with dementia is unique and different. That said, creating a therapeutic environment for those diagnosed can have an incredible impact on their quality of life. From changing the lighting in the home to introducing physical activities, there are many environmental factors that can help dementia patients maximise their potential and remain comfortable while coping with this difficult condition.

What is the difference between a residential care home and a nursing home?

By Maria Welch 19th October, 2022 Care, Care Home, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

When it comes to a time when you need to start reviewing care options for a family member or loved one, it can be a daunting experience. There are various different options and different terminology to navigate, how do you make sure your loved one is going to be properly looked after?

One of the most commonly asked questions is, “what is the difference between a care home and a nursing home?” Put simply, a nursing home has a nurse on-site 24/7 and is therefore a better option for those with greater medical needs. However, the majority of elderly do not need this, they require more support and are no longer able to live at home independently. A care home is best for those who are unable to look after themselves properly due to old age. This may mean they are no longer able to wash themselves, they may have mobility issues or perhaps then need extra support with toileting.

A care home is able to administer drugs to those who need it, however if they require a new prescription there won’t be a nurse on site, instead, they would call a doctor to assess the resident and issue a new prescription.

Some care homes, might have an area of old age they specialise in. For us, at Grosvenor Lodge, that is dementia. This means our staff have experience in looking after people suffering with dementia. They have had training to deal with the challenges that surround looking after those with dementia and the home is designed with those people in mind. For example, the corridors are colour coded to help residents navigate and we use photos and words on room doors to ensure residents can find their room more easily.

As you can imagine, having a nurse on site is expensive and therefore the fees of a nursing home can be considerably higher than those of a care home. Currently (April 2022), a nursing home is on average £180 per week more expensive, over a year this would be over £9000 more expensive than a residential care home.

So, how do you know whether your loved one needs a nursing home? The best place to start is with a needs assessment: https://www.gov.uk/apply-needs-assessment-social-services. For Sussex the first part of the process is to fill out an online self-assessment and there is a different one for East or West Sussex: East Sussex: https://adultsocialcare.eastsussex.gov.uk/web/portal/pages/preclientasspage

West Sussex: https://www.westsussexconnecttosupport.org/s4s/FormDetails/FillForm?formid=214

Once you have completed the form a member of the social care team will get in contact to discuss your needs in more detail. Depending on what those needs are will determine the next part in the process.

We know getting the help and care you need for a loved one isn’t always easy, we are happy to help guide you through the process. If you would like to discuss your care needs (for you or a loved one), arrange a visit or have a chat about how we can help, please get in touch.

When is the right time to choose a care home?

By Maria Welch 17th September, 2021 Care, Care Home, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

It feels like there is never a right time to choose a care home, it’s a daunting and scary thought for most people, and generally it is left until the family cannot cope with the care requirements of a loved one anymore and then there is a panic to try and find somewhere with a space.

Our advice would be to prepare well in advance of a loved one needing a care home. At this stage they can even be involved in the decision-making process and you will have a greater choice of homes available to you. As you will have time to be on waiting lists, plus you will be able to get to know the home much better. The more open you can be with your family and able to discuss plans, the easier it will be when the time comes to transitioning into a home.

If the home is for you, let them know what you want, where you might like to be and the types of activities you might be interested in doing. Get to know the homes you are interested in and ask to be kept on their mailing list.

We always welcome as many visits as possible for the new potential resident and their family to get to know us and the home. We like potential residents to feel familiar with the home and comfortable in the space. They are welcome to join in activities with us and stay for periods of time to really understand what it is like to be one of our residents.

When choosing a home, try to take your time, ask lots of questions about the day to day running of the home, how they care for residents and the activity programmes they run.

At Fairdene our focus is on person-centred care, this means that we get to know each of our residents on a personal level, not just the medical care they require, we like to know what hobbies they enjoy, the job they used to do, the family they have and what makes them happy. We use this to put together meaningful activities for each resident. For example, we have one resident who used to be a boxing promoter, so we take him down to the boxing gym to see everyone and watch some of the action. This is an activity he really enjoys but is personal to him – not everyone is going to want to head down to the boxing gym!

If your loved one has already had a diagnosis of a condition that is likely to affect them into their later years such as dementia, you might like to look at care homes that specialise in that condition.

As a dementia care home, we continually research the latest on dementia care and continually look to improve our home and dementia care. We have our own in-house chef to offer the most nutritious food and ensure there is healthy food for residents to help themselves to around the home. We offer jelly drops to ensure everyone stays hydrated. Each resident is encouraged to bring a memory book with them which has photos of friends and family and things they like to do. We love sharing these with the residents and hearing their stories of days gone by.

With a diagnosis of Dementia, it might be years before the person affected actually needs a care home, however the time will come when they are no longer able to look after themselves even with the help of carers, friends and families. It would be at this point that you would need to consider moving to a care home. In our opinion though, it should be before this point that you discuss the care home and look at the different ones available in order to know which care home is best suited to your loved one.

You might be able to register your interest and the home could keep you updated on availability as the time approaches. It may feel like a sad and scary step, however from a positive perspective, your loved one will be getting the care they need which means that you will be able to focus on your social relationship with them and it can really help to reduce the stress and tension that sometimes comes with being someone’s full-time carer.

Fun and rewarding activities for those with dementia

By Maria Welch 7th June, 2021 Care, Care Home, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

Caring for a loved one with dementia can be frustrating, it can be lonely and at times it can feel monotonous. This in itself can start to have a detrimental impact on your relationship, and it is so important to try and not let dementia come between you.

We’ve put together a list of activities you might want to think about to break away from the frustration and monotony and think a bit differently about how you can keep your friendship going.

Finding engaging activities can help to reduce symptoms associated with dementia such as agitation, anxiety, depression and anger.

Fold towels

Now, this might not seem like an exciting or an engaging activity, however the need to feel useful continues throughout our lives and by giving those suffering with dementia an activity where they feel useful and purpose is a great way to boost self-esteem. It doesn’t matter how well the towels are folded, your loved one will feel they are contributing to the household and you are getting some of the housework done! At Grosvenor Lodge we regularly ask our residents to help us pair socks, and they love getting involved and feeling helpful.

Create a memory box

We actively encourage our residents and their families to create memory boxes and books. They are great conversation starters and can help residents feel connected to their past career and hobbies.

With a memory or rummage box you can fill it with things they might have used at work or objects from hobbies. For example for a boxer, they might have a boxing glove or a gym towel. Someone who enjoyed baking might have measuring spoons, a whisk or a wooden spoon.

You can use this for any type of job or hobby, you might just need to be creative about finding objects that are safe to handle.

Make (or buy) a personalised puzzle

If you want to get creative you could print a favourite family photo, that has a special meaning for your loved one. Laminate the photo and cut it into four (or more) puzzle shaped pieces to make you own personalised DIY puzzle. Alternatively, there are lots of sites online where you can buy a photo puzzle.

Music

Play your loved one’s favourite songs or albums from their youth. Encourage singing and dancing. It’s amazing how a song can take us back to a certain time or memory. We have Alexas in all our residents’ rooms loaded with their favourite music and stories.

Reading

You could read to your loved one, or perhaps they might enjoy an audiobook. Find things that are easy to follow and capture their interest. Reading aloud is a great way for those with dementia to interact with children.

Nature

Get out for a walk or use a wheelchair to get outside and breathe the fresh air, listen to the birds and take in the scenery. We love getting our residents out and about. We offer walks along the seafront, or rides with the Pedal People. We visit garden centres and shops, parks and cafes. We are so pleased the restrictions are lifting and we can get out and about again.

Animal Therapy

Holding or petting an animal is so relaxing and we’ve seen the benefits in our home when we’ve had various furry friends to visit.

Routine is great for those with dementia, however if it is having a negative impact on your relationship, you need to change it up a little. Hopefully this article has given you a few ideas on how you might do that.

How do I know if it is time to think about a care home?

By Maria Welch 21st August, 2020 Care, Care Home, Dementia, Family Related Matters Comments Off

This post seems especially poignant as news breaks that Dame Barbara Windsor has been admitted to a care home. She looks absolutely marvellous for her age and yet she no longer recognises her husband. On the outside you wouldn’t realise anything was wrong, but for her loved ones, life has no doubt become more and more challenging, with her husband stating that her condition had worsened during lockdown. Sadly, I can imagine this might be the case for a number of Dementia suffers, the loss of routine, the inability to socialise, so many factors about lockdown does not sit well with the advice on how to reduce or slow down the effects of dementia.

I’m sure the decision to move to a care home was a difficult one for Dame Barbara’s family, however they were always very open about her condition and I’m sure as a family they had talked together about future plans. This may have made it easier for the family when the time came, as they would have known that Barbara was happy with the choice at the time.

If you are interested in finding out some more about our care homes and how we run, please do not hesitate in contacting us.

Preparing for the next step

By Maria Welch 29th July, 2020 Care, Care Home, Family Related Matters, Help Comments Off

Taking the decision for a loved one to move to a care home can be a scary and upsetting thought. It is often filled with guilt, you may have spent years caring for them and so it is understandable that taking a step back from that role can be very challenging. Ensure you get support from your friends, family and the care team who will be stepping in. You can still be involved in their care, and work with the new team to ensure your loved one is happy and settled in their new setting.

None of us want to admit we can’t cope any more or that we need more support. As we get older it is inevitable that we might need more care and it is important to ask for this help when you need it rather than wait until something happens and you have no choice in the matter.

By creating a plan and taking time to visit different care homes or looking at the different care options you can have control over the decision making. This will give you and your family time to prepare for the next step and also in a lot of cases care homes and care teams may have a waiting list.

Here are some tips to help you in the decision-making process if you feel a care home is the next step:

Involve the person in the decision

Although you may feel that your loved one does not have the metal capacity to make the decision in their care, it is important to try and involve them in the process. If they are no longer able to communicate you might be able to see different reactions as you tour around different homes which may help guide your decision and also make the transition easier for your loved one.

Due to COVID it might not be possible to have a tour of the care home right now, however the majority have websites, so take a look at the photos on their site, read about their ethos and how they care for their residents. Arrange a video call with the care home manager to ask all the questions you have and to get a feel of how the home is run and the activities that might appeal to your loved one.

Perhaps there is an opportunity for your loved one to join in some activities each week prior to the move so they can get to know some of the residents and become familiar with the home. This would make the transition feel less daunting for everyone involved.

Choosing the right home

This is the big one, and no doubt the most daunting decision ahead of you. There are lots of resources available on the internet to help you make that decision, but I would draw your attention to Age UK. They have a video to help: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/arranging-care/care-homes/help-finding-care-home/

They also have a list of questions that you might want to include during the process which you can find here: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/arranging-care/care-homes/choosing-care-home/

It also has a handy downloadable checklist. By having a checklist and a standard set of questions for each home it will give you a good basis for comparison.

Choosing a home is very much a personal thing, so try to get as much of a feel for daily life as you can, ask about routine and activities, outside space, activities available outside of the home and see if you can picture your loved one enjoying themselves there. If you do get the opportunity to have a tour of the home get a feel for the staff, are they interested in the residents, are they caring, does the home feel welcoming? It may be difficult to do this in current circumstances, however if you are planning in advance perhaps ask to be contacted once they are doing show arounds again.

Once you have chosen

At this stage the care home should arrange to come and meet your loved one or invite them to the home to meet with some of the team. As I mentioned earlier, if you have some time before the move, it might be nice to arrange a few afternoons or mornings where your loved one spends time at the home getting involved in some of their activities.

During their visits try to give the home as much information about your loved one as possible, this includes how and where they grew up, family, partner, work, interests, hobbies, achievements, music, films. On the Dementia website you could go through the process of creating your loved one’s life story. This is a lovely thing to do together, but don’t try doing it all in one sitting, break it into topics and collect photos to go with the stories. Spending time going through old photos reminiscing is something we love to do at Grosvenor Lodge and having life stories helps us to start the conversation with our residents.

Moving Day

Try to reduce anxieties and pick a time in the day which you feel will work best for your loved one. If they feel reluctant you could could start with a shorter respite stay to see how they get on.

Make their room homely, put up photographs of loved ones and ornaments and sentimental pieces from home around the room. Finding the right time to leave can be hard, however the care home will be very experienced in this, so talk to them and discuss when they feel is the best time.

Let your loved one know you are leaving and when you plan to return and feel free to call the home and check how they are settling in.

Settling in

Some care homes ask friends and families not to visit in the first week so they can get your loved one settled. This can feel difficult, however you can phone and check how it is going. When you do visit, encourage your loved one to develop relationships with the other residents and get involved in activities. We are always happy to include visitors in our activities – if you have a skill or hobby you could even host your own activity session.

If you would like any advice about introducing a loved one to our care home, please do not hesitate in contacting us.

Overcoming the Stigma of Dementia

By Maria Welch 19th June, 2020 Dementia, Family Related Matters, Help Comments Off

Perhaps it’s the lack of awareness and understanding around dementia in the UK that creates the stigma or the public perception of people with dementia.

Dementia is an ever-increasing disease currently affecting 850,000 people in the UK, which is set to increase to around one million by 2025.

Currently there is no cure for dementia. It’s often misunderstood as just part of growing old when in fact it’s a disease of the brain. In our previous article we talked about why there is stigma around dementia, so how do we overcome this?

Having cared for people with dementia for over 36 years in our care homes, our team works hard with friends and families to do this. Our advice:

Be open
Try to be open about the diagnosis with friends and family. Make sure you’re clear and direct. This also applies to your care givers, don’t feel ashamed about your diagnosis, it’s not your fault. The more information they have the better they will be able to treat and care for you.

Facts
One of the key things to dispel the stigma around the disease is helping people to understand, so be factual when you talk to people. You could point them to the Dementia UK website or offer a pamphlet to help explain about the disease.

Support
Make sure you have a strong support system around you, whether that’s friends and family, a support group or network. Sharing experiences with other people in the same situation can help with feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Connection and communication
Staying connected with friends and family is vital at this time, keep up as many of your daily activities as you can. Ask for help if you need it and make sure you talk about how you’re feeling and how people can help. Often people want to help but are unsure of how, if you communicate it will help you and them.

At Grosvenor Lodge we understand more than most the difficulties having a family member with dementia can cause emotionally and socially. We’re here to support and advise you and your family at every stage. Please do get in contact if you have any questions or need support. We’re here to help.

Keeping in touch through Coronavirus COVID-19

By Maria Welch 20th March, 2020 Dementia, Family Related Matters No Comments

One of the hardest things about dementia can be maintaining a relationship with your loved one particularly as the dementia progresses, and now with the added complication of keeping your loved one safe through the Coronavirus outbreak this may seem even tougher.

Communication is so important to keep your loved one from feeling lonely – one of the factors mentioned by lots of those suffering with dementia. They talk about feelings of loneliness and isolation, so it is critical to try and keep your conversations going and to continue to communicate even when things get tough and life becomes more challenging.

If you are unable to visit your loved one due to the Coronavirus, think of other ways you might be able to communicate with them. Could you organise a video call, or write a letter, perhaps a phone call might work. This week our residents are enjoying writing postcards to their families and loved ones.

We have a few tips which may aid you in communicating effectively with your loved one.

Preparation

Minimise background noise
It can be difficult to concentrate with background noise, so try to ensure you are in a comfortable peaceful setting. This is particularly important if you are video calling. You need to have all your conversation on the call so go to a quiet spot (with good internet connection) and remove all of your own distractions.

Relax
Although it can be frustrating at times, if you go into a conversation tense and uptight it is unlikely you will be able to have the calm and patience to let the conversation flow.

Think about the other person
How are they feeling, try to empathise with their current emotion, are they feeling frustrated? Angry? Sad? Frightened? If you put yourself in their shoes it might help you to pitch the conversation at the right level. Think how you are feeling at the moment, worried, anxious, helpless, these could be some of the feelings your loved one is going through with all the change and lack of contact.

Starting the conversation

Greeting
Although you may know the person well, would it be helpful to them to introduce yourself, or is “hello” enough.

Approaching
Think about where the person is in the room. Are they sitting? If so, it would be less intimidating to approach them at eye-level. Position yourself so the light isn’t behind you and they have a good view of your face and ensure you make eye contact. This is less relevant on a phone call, but on a video call, ensure your face is visible in the screen.

Keeping the conversation going

Concentrate
Concentrate during the conversation and pick up on other signals, body language, tone of voice, emotion all of these factors will add to your understanding of the conversation. Perhaps state how you think the other person might be feeling, this will help the other person to see that you care about their emotions.

Keep it simple
Use shorter sentences and give the other person time to respond

Use the person’s name often
This is a reminder you are talking to them and may help to keep their attention

Use visual aids
Visual aids like images of what you are talking about can really help to improve understanding of a topic

Correcting mistakes
In previous blogs we have said that it is better not to correct name mistakes as this can cause confusion and frustration for the other person. If you do feel the need to correct a mistake, think about how you do this. Perhaps you could ask a question for clarification.

Keep it short
Communicating and concentrating can be tiring, so look for signs that your loved one is getting tired and perhaps consider bringing the conversation to a close earlier than perhaps you would normally.

Finishing the conversation

If you are leaving the person’s house, make sure you say goodbye, smiling and give them a hug or shake their hand to let them know that you are leaving. By smiling it shows you enjoyed the conversation. Tell them when you will be visiting next and perhaps leave a note nearby with the day, date and time you will visit so they can refer to it at a later date. At the moment, you don’t know when you will be able to visit, but rather than say this which may add to feelings of anxiety, why not say when you will call again.

We are currently arranging video calling for our residents as and when they or their loved ones have asked. We will also be letting loved ones drop off cards and gifts for Mother’s day. They will leave these at the door during meal times so as not to upset the residents.